New Years resolution: losing weight, our endless struggle with the perfect image.

For so many of us weight loss has been a life long journey. For me it started in High School, where the comparisons and eating disorders began. The distorted image of yourself is quite alarming, i look back at pictures like wow i was in great shape yet back then I hated myself. I wasn’t thin enough, my hair wasn’t nice enough, I wasn’t like the other white girls in my school. I hated so much about me. In my early 20s life was easy, i took this weight loss pills and loss like 20lbs, I could eat what I wanted without gaining weight, I was thin and eating crap or not eating and felt fine. That all changed once I had a child, not only was my metabolism different but my body shape was. My hips were wider, boobs were bigger and my self image was turned upside down. I knew i needed a huge change, I could no longer eat junk, nor did I want to. i ballooned to like 300lbs and mind you I’m tall so you cant see it that much but I was the biggest I’ve ever been and felt horrible.

I started eating clean, I mean really eating clean, no oils, salt, sugar, carbs, even weighing my food. I was a stay at home mom at the time so it was easy to workout everyday and eat right and I lost a lot of weight, I even became a fitness instructor and held weekly workouts classes. But all that changed once I got a new job that I couldn’t pass up and my routine went out the window. I feel like for a lot of us mom especially, its hard to keep this routine up because we always put ourselves last but its a priority we must try to keep. There are soooo many trends out there, and trust me I’ve tries quite a few, those shakes and pills yea they help you lose the weight but once you stop taking them it comes right back. And don’t even get me started in the ones that make you basically have diarrhea for days, they’re awful. Yea you’re thinner but you have no idea what that crap does to your insides.

So I find myself after another holiday season a few pounds ( ok about 20lbs) over weight and ready to start my weight loss journey again. Whats different this time? I no longer feel bad about having some pounds on me, I don’t feel measured by my looks, nor do I care to look like everyone else. My worth is not measured by my weight, or how I look. Beauty fades, for all of us, and it doesn’t matter how good you look if your mind is not right. So working on self love is a must for weight loss success. In this social media days of comparisons and the rise of surgery to all look the same, its refreshing to not care about others and just focus on small changes to live a healthier life. Thats my focus, to eat healthier, because my body feels better when I do. To workout, because not only does my body feel better but so does my mind. Working out offers something that those diet crazes don’t, and thats a huge anxiety and stress relief. Start small, take junk out of your diet, workout three days a week, even if its walking for 30mins, and not only will you see the results but you’ll feel them. Its hard but its worth it.

NYC based Blogger and Podcast Host, Advocate for Empowement and Mental Health Awareness