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My Love, Hate Relationship With 2020…
I haven’t had the energy or mental capacity to write these last few months, to do anything in general actually; Except for the few moments of celebration like anniversaries or birthdays. It’s the toxic over productivity were programmed with, that has many of us feeling guilty for not doing much during this time. An introverts dream and an extroverts nightmare. It’s the normalization of what I’ve done during my depressive months that gave me a sense of peace; The binge watching nostalgic 90’s shows, rewatching Grey’s anatomy or Frasier for the thousandth time, the staying in bed all day. Life suddenly became less of a competition and time lost its…
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Domestic Violence: “That would never happen to Me” until it did.
This story isn’t the easiest to write about. Not only because its a hard thing to talk about, but because it’s painful for others to also relive their memories through my story as well. I’m not looking for pity nor do I claim to be a victim, because I consider myself a survivor of life and sometimes shit just happens. There’s so many reasons why this could have happened to me. Could’ve been witnessing my Mother experience abuse in her relationships for years; her absence in my life since her death made me feel I was missing so much love, it made me so needy of any type of love…
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How to find yourself after having kids, a Parents struggle.
Whew child! If someone would’ve told me how much work being a parent was….lol just kidding they did a million times I just thought they were exaggerating. I became a Mom at the age of 24, the transition from party girl to motherhood was a a tough one. I lost myself, friends, my body changed, I was no longer the person I was before. My relationship with my Oldest child’s father was short lived, we were young and had no idea who we were. We were overtaken by lust and dreams and shortly after my son was born I realized we just weren’t a good match. In this generation we…
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The search for real love, thru the smoke and mirrors.
For many of us we found comfort in the show Sex And The City. Carrie Bradshaw was my love guru, her search for love was so relatable. One of my favorite quotes of hers is ” I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, cant live without each other love.” The search for love seems to be a lifelong struggle for many of us. Ive seen so many sides of love it became a different word, it had a different meaning. I’m from an older generation, generation X. Before the internet, when dating meant actual dates. When R&B songs were recorded on a cd and songs were dedicated to…
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Mental Health Stigma, breaking down the walls.
Over the last few years Mental Health issues have become a common topic of discussion, as the awareness has been brought to light. For years I dealt with depression without knowing how severe yet common it is, I believe we feel depression in different stages and to different extremes. When I was younger my depression was mostly related to the lack of love in my life, my childhood traumas and it snow balled after I had kids. The many disappointments in life cause this as well, as “reality” kicks in and smacks you in the face. I wish they would’ve taught us this in high school instead of useless subjects…
