One of the many things the last couple of years have shown me, is that healing isn’t linear. I focused on healing, healing the pain that was only really on the surface, not even considering childhood pain. I went to therapy, had a mood journal, took my anti depressants and still felt like i’d never feel like myself again. My self doubt was high and my self worth was low, I identified with my pain so much i believed that pain was always a part of me. i began to really ask God, the Universe, my Angels for help; I was ready for the shift. I had forgotten my power, my inner light that manifests so many magical things. And as soon as I asked I began to receive those things. I was recently doing a Facebook live with a friend of mine Isa, she really inspires me and shares a lot of healing tools with me. She shared with me the life coaches she was working with, I was so open and receptive to change, to evolve. I had a rough week and felt like I hit a wall with my growth and healing, I really felt like I needed a retreat, a reset, and that same day she sends me a link to one that she just signed up for. Clicking on the link I was immediately drawn in, the sales page boldly stated:
Have you’ve been intuitively feeling that you are meant for something BIG but feel lost and misguided regarding what and how to move forward?
Have you allowed your insecurities, fears, and limiting beliefs to prevent you from going after your goals and desires?
Are you ready to declare, “Enough is enough. I am DONE getting in my own way. I am ready to CHOOSE me?”
Things included in the retreat was just what I was looking for: Ego recognition, forgiveness & inner child work, healing limited beliefs, PSYCH-K, massages and more. I never heard of those coaches until that day, but I knew this was where I needed to be. I didnt focus on the excuses of why I couldn’t go, like the money or the kids or even the fear of the unknown. I was excited, and shared my excitement with my Husband who was so glad to see that spark of excitement in me he said ” Where do I sign?” He believes in me so much, and I’m forever grateful for his love and support.
Transformation Coaches Kelly Espino and Elvira Cabreja offered such powerful support, leading into the retreat I knew I was in good hands. They made a group chat so we could all get to know each other and ask any questions. It was nice to see that we were all experiencing the same nerves and emotions leading to the weekend. Transportation was even arranged, and I was picked up by Elvira, who had so much peace and energy all while being 8 months pregnant. I was in awe honestly, like wow this was going to be a special weekend. The cabin was in the Poconos nestled between the woods, a family of deer greeted us. The serenity immediately wrapped me in a safe space. This was my first retreat so I didn’t know what to expect, but this surpassed my expectations. The work started right away, we were handed our cute gift bags and the workbook that would change my life. Thoughtfully made, each section dug deep into why we were REALLY there. No sugar coat or fluff, they let us know the first night; what we put out we receive, so if we were here to heal to open up and be real. You felt the resistance and fear that first night. I went to bed feeling determined to knock those walls down.
I slept so good there, my mind actually silenced and my heart ready to heal. I headed into Saturday confidently, we dove into our workbooks to tackle our Ego and limiting beliefs. I realized how hard I truly am to myself, and even how that was a reflection to others. I was hurting, I became mean and cold trying to just get through the pain. Those limiting belief were a part of my everyday life, causing deep depression and anxieties. Now knowing the root of my anxieties, I was able to take control of my ego by naming it and putting it in a box metaphorically. As crazy as that sounds, you’re able to separate your doubts and insecurities from your true self. You disable its power. Taking back my power was the whole theme of this retreat to me. After seeing on paper the harmful thought patterns I developed, I was ready to reprogram that way of thinking. It was time for Psych-K. The only way I can explain what this tool is, a rapid mindset change. In the matter of 20 minutes, trauma that had stayed trapped in me for so long was freed. She instructed me to bring up all the painful memories, with my eyes closed everything seemed to be floating in my mind. I started to cry and my breathe got faster, and as intense as it felt it slowly started to fade and my breathe slowed down as well. She told me as soon as I felt peace to open my eyes, and just like that those memories no longer caused me pain. I opened my eyes in disbelief, how could it be that easy? We tackled three areas in my life that I felt were weighing heavy on me, I walked out of that room a different person. I saw as each of the women at that retreat felt healing and comfort thru this technique. That night I slept better than ever, with no nightmares, my mind was calm and not flooded with thoughts, I felt free.
Sunday Funday was a great day, I felt like a million bucks as I meditated outside, inhaling the fresh air and embracing my new found freedom. The last part of our workbook got us in touch with our inner child thru a mediation. As we closed our eyes, we walked thru a door and met our inner child. I saw my 7 year old self, she embraced me and comforted me, telling me it was ok and that she forgave me. I knew the work I had done the day before was for her, but today was the confirmation I needed. She told me to be bold, to not blend into the crowd around me, she told me to dance more, to create more and that we can change the world. The next part of the retreat brought her out to celebrate, the Shake Your Soul dance class allowed us all to let go and just be. Margot Schulman, the instructor is also a relationship coach and happen to be selling her relationship book, she kindly signed a copy for my husband and I. When I tell you this retreat balanced my mind, body and soul!!! LIFE CHANGING!!! My body was rejuvenated by the amazing Sara Richardson, a licensed massage therapist, holistic wellness coach, reiki practitioner, and energy healer. I never had a massage that made me feel this good, years of back pains and knee injuries had me feeling twice my age. In a matter of 30 minutes I no longer felt those pains. I felt like dancing, every knot in my body was gone. She worked with my nervous, cellular and muscular systems at the same time! like wow! I felt her energy work thru the knots and the pain lifting. I literally felt like a miracle happened, I immediately went to soak in the jacuzzi tub in some essential oils and soaked in the love and gratitude I felt. I got my body back! I apologized to myself and my ancestors for their traumas, I forgave myself for being so hard on myself and others. The love came from within, thats all i needed. Watching us all transform that weekend is something ill never forget. As I left the house i thanked it for allowing me to heal in a peaceful safe place. Thank you ladies for sharing so much of yourselves with me. Thank you Kelly, Elvira, Sara, and Margot for being such divine vessels of healing. I’ll share their info below if you feel the need for healing, trust me it’ll change your life!!! its crazy how powerful we are, and how much we can achieve if we believe. Remember it all comes from you, you owe it to yourself to heal so you can live your best life.